Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
