is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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