Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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