I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
sex in a hospital.. check
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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