Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
