You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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