So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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