ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
