Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
