yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
