Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you would pick up someone in the library
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
