it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
