its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I will be naked everywhere
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
