My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
