New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
