Four minutes until I can fart!
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
