the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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