How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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