i just made my gag reflex go away.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
