once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
