oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
