let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
