This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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