Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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