Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
