Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So vagazzling was a success
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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