you would pick up someone in the library
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
