I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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