K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
