I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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