i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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