real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
