Duck Duck Cougar?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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