My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
