I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
