Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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