It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
