I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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