take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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