The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
you would pick up someone in the library
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
