It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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