drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
you never un-have a 4some
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
