3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
