just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
