i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
