better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I forget how to act sober
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
