shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
