he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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