i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize