Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
