Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
