Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
