At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize