Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
