You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
third nipple confirmed
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Randomize
