Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
