Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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