hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
