dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
