check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Everything about him screamed your future.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize