my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Still dying that you shit outside
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize