o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
