Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
