I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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