I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
