D3 body, D1 cock
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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