This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
