I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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