i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
