There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
