you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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