I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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