Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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