i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
