Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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