i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
